Saturday, March 13, 2010

Gentlemen Broncos

Remember when you saw the previews for this movie and you thought to yourself, "Yeah, that could actually be pretty funny in that non-conventional, Napoleon Dynamite sort of way." Sure, the premise looked bizarre, but with Jemaine Clement from "Flight of the Conchords" the movie had to be decent, right?

No. Not at all. This movie sucks. It's bad enough to make me fear for the career of Jemaine Clement... and Sam Rockwell... and everyone else involved in this movie. Some might call it a train wreck, but a train wreck has so much more to offer. Until now, I'd never watched a movie that made me feel despair. TRUE DESPAIR! The only thing that keeps you watching is the hope that somehow the movie will redeem itself with a moment that gives it all purpose. A moment that makes sense. A moment that pulls your head from under the water, dries you off, and tells you that the torture is over.

But that moment never comes. And so you're left empty, confused, disgusted, and mildly disturbed. The directors, Jared and Jerusha Hess, (what the hell kind of name is Jerusha, anyway?) failed big-time here. When they made Napoleon Dynamite, they hit a base hit. People clapped and smiled and whispered about the potential these two had. They were up and coming stars. With Nacho Libre, they hit a home run. People applauded their efforts as their street-cred grew substantially. They had made a legitimately good movie and, for the most part, were respected. With Gentlemen Broncos, though, they struck out. Their effort was so poor, they've been pushed back into the minor leagues. No more respect. No more fame. No more fortune. I can't see how anyone who has seen this movie will ever want to star in a film made by these people.

What's really sad, though, is that had they tweaked parts of the movie here and there, toned down some scenes, removed others, hired a better screenwriter, etc, the movie could have been decent, if not good. Even with all its strangeness, the potential was there.



  1. Dang you, Barry! You said it was bad and it wasn't worth my time...but you didn't say that you'd rather burn off your own fingerprints than watch this movie. My "15 minute preview" turned into 45. Yes, a train wreck has more to offer, but this movie is equally difficult to look away from...

  2. You two could be the next Ebert and...what's his name? Rogers? Roper? anyway, you know the two film critics!